My new name is "Hey."
It used to be "Mommy". It still is according to at least one person who uses "Momma" and "Mommy" interchangeably to address me. I don't think I ever successfully graduated to "Mom", but have been occasionally been called "Mother" by the same person who calls me "Hey".
So...here's my analysis: the man-child to whom I refer is struggling with his role in this household and his role in our relationship. And, of course, we struggle with our mother/man-child relationship. I am under the impression that this is a somewhat normal mother/son dynamic, so I'm not terribly torn up over it. Just a little torn up. The man-child doesn't like it when I provide guidance on such mundane matters as how long he warms his food in the microwave. He has, after all, been warming his food in a microwave without my interference for quite some time. (I was an absentee working mom practically his whole life.) He considers it insulting and feels that I am treating him like he's 8. He has been pretty independent and relatively self-sufficient for quite some time now. He's incredibly intelligent. And there are many things for which he does not need me. Not the least of which is food warming advice.
So...to continue to call me "Mommy" is perhaps a little demoralizing. Maybe makes him feel like a little kid. "Mom" maybe just seems weird to him. "Momma" just doesn't fit well into his ultra-sophisticated vocabulary, either. He is, after all, nearly 20 years old. Other than the woman-child, what other 20-somethings call their female parent "Mommy"? As the man-child becomes more comfortable in his adult skin, he will settle on something other than "Hey". It may take a while, but hey...I'm okay with that.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Just call me "Hey"
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1 comment:
Your man-child will probably settle on "mom" one day, afterall that is who you are. He will also realize that he will always be your child. Hey seems a little disrespectful though. I guess it could be worse...I personally never liked "mother" as it reminds me of the movie "Mommie Dearest."
In order to feel like a man he apparently needs to feel some sense of control over his food warming decisions, route and driving practices as well as other things. I would back off and let him make all the mistakes because one day he will have it worse...he'll have a wife! Then he will think about how much he wishes she was like YOU! His mom!
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