Perhaps I should just get a Roomba.

I spent a good part of my day doing laundry and cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean the never ending vacuuming of dog hair that is everywhere. And the never ending dusting, wiping and vacuuming of the dust that rides in on the dogs from the back yard. It will never ever ever ever ever end. Ever. Never. Well, unless...(we won't go there, but it doesn't necessarily involve dogs going "to live on farms"...they are, technically, Hannah's dogs.)

Hannah with Allie

When I return to gainful employment and become loaded again, I have decided that I should hire a housekeeper to come in and just vacuum and dust. All the time.

Until such time as I have someone to do my dirty work for me, perhaps I should just get a Roomba? Despite the fact that Consumer Reports says that "robotic vacuums are best for their novelty and low effort between regular vacuuming in uncluttered rooms. But they’re expensive as a group and time-consuming to set up and run. Most also tended to miss edges and corners in our tests. Price $200 to $1,800." Still...the idea of letting something roam around the room vacuuming dog hair is pretty appealing.

I'm silly?

Check out Groovalicious Fly Team, a band (I think) named Groovalicious, and Urban Dictionary entries defining groovalicious. I'm kinda diggin' this new word. Hadn't heard it before today, but apparently it is quite popular. (Google it and see for yourself.)

And you think I'm silly for creating such terms as "countrylicious"? Well, I think I'm groovalicious for inventing countrylicious.

Free Cat

This is a "bumper sticker" available on Facebook.

Am I bad person for laughing?

Movies According to Christine

Yes, I know...I've said it before...I know you can't make your entertainment decisions without knowing what Christine's thoughts are on the movies you want to see. As if I'm a Leonard Maltin or a Roger Ebert. My biggest rule of thumb: Don't pay attention to the critics--especially not that woman who is named after a sandwich garnish.

You can probably skim through this list of the movies I've seen over the last 3-4 months and see somewhat of a pattern. I enjoy some silliness. I enjoy romantic comedies. I also enjoy a good cry sometimes. I like to escape, I need a laugh and I need to feel uplifted in some way when I walk out of that theater.

On the big screen:

The Love Guru--pure Mike Myers silliness. Though the underlying message is actually a serious and important one, Mike Myers never takes himself too seriously. There are parts of this movie during which Shalane and I were laughing so hard, I was in tears and we again asked ourselves, "Are we the only ones laughing?"

Then She Found Me--sweet story about a 39-year old woman whose birth mother finds her and how that relationship evolves (or doesn't at times). It's not as sappy as it sounds. A mom dies in this movie, but it's early on and we hardly have enough time to appreciate the mom or the mother-daughter relationship, so no tears here. That's okay. This is a pretty light movie. The acting is good (Helen Hunt, Colin Firth, Bette Midler and Matthew Broderick). The ending is happy and sweet. I'm a sucker for a happy ending. This was one of my self-indulgent movie-by-myself matinees.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull--Normally I avoid the movie reviews and disregard what others tell me about a movie. I made an exception for this one. I read several reviews prior to seeing this. I needed to know that this was a good investment. There were differing opinions of the movie and they seemed to correlate to the reviewer's generation. Roger Ebert, for example, was pretty okay with it. Other younger reviewers (by my assessment of their young-looking photos) didn't like it so much and called it a disappointment.

My take: This is a continuation of the adventures that began in 1981. It did not open with an action sequence and that was disappointing. It was somewhat predictable and a little over the top with the prairie dogs, monkeys and aliens. Overall, though, I enjoyed it. Good triumphs over evil. Guy gets the girl. Happy family lives happily ever after. At least until the next sequel.

What Happens in Vegas--romantic comedy...happy ending...good message about what is important in life. Hint: it is NOT working all the time.

Sex and the City <-- click here for previously posted comments. In short: great closure.

Smart People--this is one of those dialogue-intensive character studies I am so often drawn to. (Yes, I know I shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition.) This is about finding love and happiness. It's about hope, intimacy, relationships and living happily after ever once you've figured that all out.

Baby Mama--actually pretty good! The trailers are a bit misleading, because this turns out to be a romantic comedy of sorts. It's not all about the Tina Fey and Amy Poehler characters. The main character, it turns out, can get pregnant...has a baby...ends up with the Baby Daddy (Greg Kinnear). The once-a-surrogate character embarks on a path of self-improvement. Everybody lives happily ever after. Appearances by Sigourney Weaver and Steve Martin add a little amusement and more familiar faces.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall--another romantic comedy with a happy ending. Very funny and sweet. Best part is the guy is not sucked back into the relationship with Sarah Marshall after she stomped all over him. He gets happy and gets a great girl.

On DVD:

Grace is Gone--a mom dies. I rented this knowing exactly what I was getting myself into. Young father of two daughters loses his soldier wife in the war and puts off telling them...he instead takes them on a road trip. Not sure what my opinion of this is...I just needed a good cry and it did the trick. Sort of.

August Rush--orphaned kid finds his birth parents. Fairytale-ish, but I don't care. It's a sweet story with a tear-jerker happy ending.

Juno--another movie that got lots of attentions at the Oscars and Sundance. This is another of those movies where I just don't get why people thought it was so fantastic (like Sideways, for example). Teen gets pregnant. Teen chooses to place child for adoption. Miscellaneous not-so-dramatic plot turns that are just enough to keep the viewer's interest. It was okay.

Other recent movie rentals and previously "reviewed-by-me": Atonement and Dan in Real Life. Click on the links in case you missed those posts.

On TV:

This is my list of "You're Still Grieving, So Don't Watch This is if You Don't Want to Cry Real Hard All Over Again." I had forgotten about a few key scenes in the first two and was sort of taken by surprise...especially since I really wasn't watching these from start to finish...I just happened to stop the channel changing at a key moment. The rest I have seen so many times that I know to avoid them.

Hope Floats--a mom dies
Stepmom--a mom dies
Beaches--a mom dies
Terms of Endearment--a mom dies
Steel Magnolias--a mom dies

Sometimes a good cry is great. In fact, sometimes I just feel like there is this huge pot of boiling grief way down in my gut. Eventually, it has to come out (again). And when it does, there will be flailing and wailing and screaming and crying. A little trigger like a "mom dies" movie helps a little, but sometimes I don't expect it and don't want to put myself through it. I sound a little warped, I know...especially since I rented Grace is Gone with just that intention.

End of reviews. Now, you can make informed entertainment decisions based on Movies According to Christine.

I Don't Mind

I had planned to have lemon garlic tilapia with some vegetables this evening. Curtis and his friend, former YMCA co-worker and potential future roommate, Clyde, decided to go out for food. I don't mind an excuse to have something as simple as a glass of wine* and some pasta covered in olive oil, butter and parmesan. I don't mind at all. Sigh. Mmmmmmm mm good.

*Robert Mondavi Private Selection 2006 Pinot Noir, California. It "unfolds in elegant, silky layers of wild cherries, berries and aromatic spices. Warm oak nuances linger on the finish." Though my choice of food pairing is not consistent with the recommendation, I can tell you my pairing is quite lovely and delicious (wine only $7.99, by the way!).

The Rock by any other name...

For those of you who don't know: I am in love with The Rock (former professional wrestler, but now a.k.a. Dwayne Johnson--the hot actor).

I have been deeply in love with him for many years. I was secretly thrilled last year when I learned of the demise of his marriage. Now...I can marry him!!!

I love him so much that people want to help me "get" The Rock. My sister, Amy, in her anguish over not being able to accomplish this task (yet), brought me a rock (purple ribbon wrapped) for my birthday last year.

It will forever sit on my deck as a testament to my love.

You may now understand why I was horrified to discover this:

Blasphemy, perhaps? Not even a good homage to the love of my life. Certainly doesn't incite the same sort of thrill of which only The Rock is capable.

And certainly disrespectful of the memory of

The Rock's WWE days when his catch phrase was,

"Do you smelllllll what the Rock is cookin'!?!?"

The Barack tee doesn't even come to close to creating that kind of excitement.

The lesson here:

The Rock by any other name is not The Rock.

Disclaimer: I have tremendous respect for Barack Obama. In general, I don't like to discuss my political opinions and views. This blog post is for fun and was not intended to make any sort of political statement whatsoever...nor is it intended to stimulate political discussion or comment. (Sort of sad given that I am a former Political Science major.)

Just call me "Hey"

My new name is "Hey."

It used to be "Mommy". It still is according to at least one person who uses "Momma" and "Mommy" interchangeably to address me. I don't think I ever successfully graduated to "Mom", but have been occasionally been called "Mother" by the same person who calls me "Hey".

So...here's my analysis: the man-child to whom I refer is struggling with his role in this household and his role in our relationship. And, of course, we struggle with our mother/man-child relationship. I am under the impression that this is a somewhat normal mother/son dynamic, so I'm not terribly torn up over it. Just a little torn up. The man-child doesn't like it when I provide guidance on such mundane matters as how long he warms his food in the microwave. He has, after all, been warming his food in a microwave without my interference for quite some time. (I was an absentee working mom practically his whole life.) He considers it insulting and feels that I am treating him like he's 8. He has been pretty independent and relatively self-sufficient for quite some time now. He's incredibly intelligent. And there are many things for which he does not need me. Not the least of which is food warming advice.

So...to continue to call me "Mommy" is perhaps a little demoralizing. Maybe makes him feel like a little kid. "Mom" maybe just seems weird to him. "Momma" just doesn't fit well into his ultra-sophisticated vocabulary, either. He is, after all, nearly 20 years old. Other than the woman-child, what other 20-somethings call their female parent "Mommy"? As the man-child becomes more comfortable in his adult skin, he will settle on something other than "Hey". It may take a while, but hey...I'm okay with that.

Really?

Do women really wear high heels with swimsuits and negligee? Is it really a woman's "favorite" look? Do women really love the stiletto heels half as much as Oprah's guest says they do?

Yesterday on Oprah, I met the people behind the big names: Barbie, Marc Jacobs and Jimmy Choo. I missed most of the Barbie piece, but I'm pretty sure we were introduced to the woman who was the inspiration for the original Barbie doll. Marc Jacobs: blah blah blah...fired from some big design house for his grunge show, the 'mastermind' behind Louis Vuitton, has his own lines, working two jobs, in recovery from drugs/alcohol abuse/addiction, blah blah blah...Oprah was practically slobbering all over him. Tamara Mellon: British genius designer behind Jimmy Choo as in Jimmy Choo shoes. (You can read more about these amazing stories -- said with sarcasm and major Oprah drama -- at Oprah's website. Click on the "people..." link above.)

Yes, I was sucked into another Oprah show totally against my will. The thing that I am stuck on, however, is the shoes.

First: ouch.

Second: As models were parading out on stage wearing various "hot shoes," I couldn't avoid being intrigued by how some were dressed.

Third: Wearing stiletto heels with either negligee or swimsuits, I am left wondering "really???" Particularly because the comment was made that this is a "favorite look" of many women. Now...I concede that the comment may have meant that the shoe itself was the favorite look, but I really don't think so.

Finally: Even at my hot and sexy sveltest a hundred years ago, I would never have been comfortable wearing stiletto heels...any heels for that matter...with a swimsuit. (I tried it once for fun in the privacy of my closed door bedroom. It wasn't for me. It was ridiculous.) And I always figured that it was just too absurd to even think about wearing heels with pajamas, nightgowns, or sexy negligee. How often do we see people dressing like this, anyway? Granted, witnessing a real life heel/swimsuit combo would be the one presenting the public opportunity if it were something that women were doing frequently.

Maybe I'm just living in the wrong town. Maybe this is happening in other hot spots of the country like L.A. and NYC or even the country clubs. Even so...I find it odd that the show opened with Barbie and closed with Jimmy Choo shoes. Barbie's feet are in the permanent pose of a Jimmy Choo shoe. Maybe Barbie is really the genius behind the Jimmy Choo shoe empire--having dictated to women all over the world what a sexy shoe and accompanying "sexy ensemble" should look like...that the only shoe you can and should wear with a swimsuit or negligee is a stiletto heel. (I know...quite a complicated and nearly subversive conspiracy of sorts.)

Don't get me wrong. This is not something I'm looking for. It's not something I want to see. It's something that I find absurd. Unbelievable even. Do women really do it or do designers and the media just want us to think that this is how you dress to attract men? Or do designers really believe people dress like that in real life just because that's how people are dressed on TV?

We may never really know the answers to these timeless questions. And, of course, you may be wondering, "Oprah again, Christine? Really?" Sometimes it's mesmerizing. But I still don't like her and stand by everything I've ever said about her. Really.

Lucy and Christine's Excellent Downtown Adventure

Saturday was movie night! I'm pretty sure that the last time my younger sister, Lucy, and I went to a movie together it was 1980. We saw The Jazz Singer. (I think...I'm pretty sure about this...and her friend Beth L. was with us. Right, Lucy?)

Generally, Lucy and I don't hang out much and haven't been out in public together since...well...it was about 1984...there was a convertible involved...the top was down...I was throwing up...she was in the back seat. Maybe that's why we stopped hanging out. Can't blame her.

In any event, a new era has dawned and Lucy has remembered that it's fun to hang out with me and do some things with me that she hasn't yet tried in the 21st century. So, we headed to the Regal Riviera theater downtown to get in on the Sex and the City action. The theater itself isn't new to Lucy...It's new to me and Lucy had raved about what a cool place it is. It's closer to where she lives, so when she and her lover take in a movie, this is the spot. The movie satisfied every expectation I had and tied up every loose end that needed tying up. It was probably the most satisfying closure I've ever had. (Watching Sex and the City reruns...even with all its immorality is my dirty little addiction secret.)

After the movie, we strolled down Gay Street and into the Downtown Grill & Brewery where we enjoyed a few beers, some unique shrimp cocktail (sort of a shrimp salsa with chips) and some out of this world burgers. A little text messaging with Andrew was involved--he suggested we try an IPA. We got a sample. It tasted like gasoline to us. We ordered another blonde beer. Andrew called us pussies. It was as if he were there with us. Good times.

Strolling farther down Gay Street, we visited The Mast General Store. The attraction here is that they carry a lot of stuff you don't easily find at other retailers. A lot of it is stuff we haven't seen since our childhood. (Among other things, they carry candy, toys, cookware, Willow Tree figurines, corn meal, clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc...it is, after all, a general store.) Our big purchase was some of our favorite candy...mine being Mallo Cups...that I can never find anywhere. (You know, because the gorging with giant sloppy burgers and beers wasn't enough calorie intake.) The fun of it is that the candy is merchandised in barrels just as you see in the picture. We didn't linger long, because we got there about 10 minutes to close. We'll have to go back on our next big city adventure.

It's pretty exciting to see how alive downtown Knoxville has become. Of course, I later heard on the news that a lot of people went to see the SATC movie at the downtown theater, because it gave them the feeling of being in the big city for the big city movie. Whatever.

The final highlight of the evening was being approached by a young man who asked us to buy his movie tickets. He said, "I'm 19 years old and I can only buy one rated R movie ticket at a time." We smiled and said, "We can't help you." What I really wanted to say was, "Can't you see we're two mid-40s women with joint issues? Do you really think one of us is gonna walk all the way back up to that ticket office for you?" Punk.

Dad: Hedge Project Manager

Today, Dad and I tackled the beasts that are the out of control hedges in my yard. I am in the process of photographically documenting this monumental task and couldn't resist including a picture of how happy he was about it. Is happy about it. (If it had been up to me, we would still be procrastinating.) We are far from done and probably have another day or two of work. Day of work = 3-4 hours of toiling before the sun hits the side of the house where we are working and before the temp inches towards the 80s and 90s. At this point, then the 20 year olds (Curtis and my nephew, Aaron) took over and did the brush hauling. The forecast is mid-90s for the rest of the week. YIKES. The breeze was fantastic today, however. Blowing across our sweaty skin, it reminded us what nature's air conditioning is and how effective it is.

Mmmmm...Java!

Just in case you were wondering what a pot of brewed coffee looks like when you press the On button and forget to put the carafe back on the hot plate.

Is our children learning?

Contrary to what may now seem like popular belief, the term "strategery" was not actually used by President Bush, God love him. Though I can't find the video on YouTube to prove it to you, Will Ferrel used this "term" in a skit where he parodied Bush. Sadly, it wouldn't be shocking if Bush actually had used the term "strategery."

The English language is constantly growing, changing and adapting to our needs. Well...apparently this word is gaining credibility (or maybe just popularity) and before we know it will be in the dictionary. FoxNews was all over the breaking news today about Hillary's comment that she wouldn't rule out running as Obama's VP. The political analysis abounded with Shepard Smith at the helm. At one point, as he segued into a guest political analyst interview, he stated that it might be time for some "strategery" on Obama's part. The guest echoed Shepard's use of the word, not once, but twice. I think Shepard's use of the word was tongue in cheek. The other guy seemed as though he believed this is a really a word.

Is our language so polluted that we can't tell the difference between a real word and a made up word? Am I naïve enough to think that the guest political analyst was serious? Or am I just concerned enough that I believe this is an example of our language being butchered? The trickle down effect of something like this could be very real and could be diluting the education of our children. Who do we have to thank for that? Educators...authority figures...political leaders...news commentators? Am I just full of crap? Am I overly concerned about whether or not our children really is learning and whether or not they is getting a quality education?

Image from Baragona's History of the English Language & General Linguistics Home Page.

(Please click on the God love him link above if you aren't familiar with the "Is our children learning?" reference.)

Weather Forecast

Today's chance of rain is 15%.

Don't think I've ever seen just a 15% chance of rain.

Catching Up

I know...I know...it's difficult to make your entertainment decisions without finding out my take on the movies I've seen, the restaurants I've tried and the wine I've been drinking. (There's a big laugh here, folks.)

Be patient for those movie reviews. I've been conservative with my restaurant adventures as I'm pretty stuck on Bonefish Grill, but Barbara and I did go to Peerless for the first time to celebrate our birthdays (you see...the birthday trip wasn't enough). Finally, I haven't been adventurous with the wine, either. Same ole same ole when I've opened a bottle...Oh! I did have a bottle of Pinot Grigio that I'll tell you about--I usually drink reds, so this was different for me.

As you know, May was not without excitement and adventure. The Nashville Excursion is well-documented, of course. The following weekend, I ventured up to Johnson City, picked up my girl (Hannah) and then we went to Emory & Henry College in Emory, VA, to make sure Natalie (Hannah's BFF) graduated. The graduation was lovely and that is an understatement. It was outside on the lawn--the weather was absolutely beautiful (a little chilly at first) with the sun shining and a nice breeze. This was probably the best graduation ceremony I have ever had the pleasure of attending...even better than my brother's Graduation-From-Notre Dame-With-the-President-as-the-Commencement-Speaker. With the exception of the college president mis-pronouncing Danica Patrick's name (as she was pointing out significant historical events that had happened during the students' four years at E&H), this was the perfect graduation...perfect music, perfect weather, perfect speakers (a student and then a guest speaker--some Virginia politician...I don't have this program, either.) who both incorporated perfect stories and perfect humor into their speeches...I could go on, but I think you get that it was sort of...perfect.

Afterwards, Hannah and I headed back to JC to spend the rest of the day together in honor of me since she wouldn't be home on actual Mother's Day (the next day). It doesn't matter how we spend our time...any day with Hannah is a great day. We did have some great burgers with her friend, Robin, visited Robin's home, and hung out at Sears while they fixed Hannah's flat tire. We also checked out some digital cameras at BestBuy where the customer service was terrible and they were out of every camera I was interested in. I got off the interstate on the way home and thought I would see if there was a BestBuy at EastTowne (what old-timers call what is now Knoxville Center Mall). On impulse, I went into Sam's Club and found the perfect digital camera (mentioned in a previous blog as my Happy Mother's Day To Me/Happy Birthday To Me digital camera). Got a great deal on it and now I and my camera are living happily ever after. This was really an exciting day of Independent Momma-ness for me. I was up and out very early and back home probably around 9pm. Never once did I think I would fall asleep at the wheel! (That would be bad, of course.)

The next weekend was Birthday Weekend. Hannah was home. We saw a movie...we ate...we hung out. Her visit was multi-purpose, however, as there was a big graduation celebration for BFF, BFF's best boy, and BFF's brother. I started recognizing the Big 45 with the afore-blogged May 15 dinner with pal Jennifer and enjoyed a few other meals-with-pals-in-honor-of-me in the two weeks following.

May was a good month. I relaxed. I decompressed. I caught up with friends....even setting a record by having lunch with my dear sweet Pierrette not once, but twice! Still, I have other catching up to do. While I chipped away at household neglect tiny bits at a time, there is more work to do. This I know, however: it's not worth it to let a job consume me as much as I let the last one consume me. My goal for the rest of my life: keep my priorities in order and do a better job loving me.

The Heaven That is the Opry

I never finished "documenting" the big Nashville excursion with the last installment...the Grand Ole Opry! I love country music, so this was a little like what I think Heaven may be for me. I enjoyed every single minute of this. And I want to go back...again and again and again.

This was pretty exciting, to say the least. Prior to the show, we visited the Opry Museum. It was almost like a mini country music hall of fame since a lot of the same things were there...only more Opry-focused. I know...it looks like I got to perform, but this was a little mock-up (I guess...don't think it was every used, anywhere) of an Opry stage. Everybody's gotta have a gimick, so I guess you could call me Bag Lady.

And then...there was the show! The first hour was hosted by Jeannie Sealy. We were treated to performances by Emily West ("Prom Dress Girl"), Phil Vassar ("The Vassar Boy" ...seen to the left here...who incidentally doesn't look like a "Phil," but who is certainly countrylicious), Charlie Daniels, Connie Smith, Whisperin' Bill Anderson and other notable Opry legends & mainstays. (I don't know where the program is or I'd be a little more meticulous here.) In any event, the new talent and a few legends.

An Opry show is not just a concert. It's a radio broadcast, so throughout the show you're hearing (and seeing, of course) the DJ introduce acts, go to commercial break and read ads from the sponsors. There is a lot happening on that stage and we could see a lot of people sort of hanging out in the wings...they weren't made to stay out of sight and seemed to be part of the spectating crowd. Not only was there singing, but there was dancing, too. I don't recall what they called these folks, but they were clogging...square dancin'...whatever...they were having a good time and quite entertaining.

All of the performances were fantastic, but the most exciting was Charlie Daniels (and the Charlie Daniels Band, of course). I have to say that I wasn't too thrilled that he -- as opposed to any of my favorite performers -- was scheduled to appear, but my my my...what an exciting performance it was! Mr. Daniels is 71 years old, but you'd never know it. He is larger than life and full of the most amazing energy and enthusiasm for his craft. If you listened to the radio at all during the '70's, then you, too, probably eventually grew very tired of The Devil Went Down to Georgia. This was the last song they performed and I have a new appreciation for it, for him and for the band. All three of their performances were amazing, but this was one was especially exciting. He is a very physical musician and throws every bit of himself into his performance...swinging his bow around and working that fiddle like nobody's business! His comments before the song humbly included sort of statement saying they have included it in every performance since they first recorded it and he said, "We sure hope you all don't get tired of hearing it, because we never get tired of playing it." Their performance proved that.